How I spent my mothers day. « Secrets I wish I didn't have.

Today is mothers day. I, myself have 5 children. However, I did not spend any of today with my own kids. Nope. None. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Why, you might ask.

I spent today with other people's children.

Yep. Seriously. I spent today with three different foster kids that I work with. I spent 6 hours with the youngest one.

Yes, I did say 6 (six) hours. Why? Well, today is her normal staffing day, and her foster mom wanted to keep the day free for herself. And how did the 9 year old feel about that? Well, she wasn't thrilled. However, I think that she is used to it by now.

See her mom has lost all of her parental rights and she has had a series of foster moms. And 2 years ago, she had an adoptive mom. One that told her that her house and her family would be her 'forever home'. That lasted all of 6 weeks. Then they brought her back like someone else would take a defective toaster back to Wallyworld.

Return on register one!

Oh, and the 'forever home' nonsense? Well, she just wasn't the little princess they thought she was going to be. This was discovered after they let her choose all of her new furniture for her new room. And the paint scheme. And bought her lots of new toys. Guess how much of that came with her when they 'returned' her? NONE.

She has been in her current home since then, almost 2 years. I have hopes that they will continue to keep her and maybe even adopt her soon. But then something like Mother's Day comes up and she is uninvited to the family day.

The other two I spent time with were mainly doing transports between their weekend respite and their current foster homes.

One of them told me that she feels like I am her mother because I am the only one that she knows she can talk too. Sad thing is that this is the first time I have been able to staff her for 3 months. The comparison between the last staffing I did with her and this weekends is not good. So many of the behaviors that I thought we had eliminated have returned. As has the black dress and self destructive behavior.

She ages out of care in about 6 weeks and due to our wonderful system will have no where and no one to go home to if she blows out of placement. Just a junior in high school, no marketable skills and NOT mature enough to be on her own.

Welcome to adulthood!

Makes me very sad and upset. Once she ages out, ethically I can no longer help her. How exactly does that make sense?

When exactly did society decide that it is ok to throw kids away?

Why don't we see that we are throwing away our future?

What is wrong with the human race?

THAT'S how I spent my Mother Day.