"Lucy, my little courgette." Can I call you that? In Canadian English we say zucchini, but I'm showcasing my culturally sensitive side. Part of my campaign to win your affection. Besides, courgette sounds less like a vegetable and more like a long-legged show girl. But, I digress, my little Devonshire cream. What exactly is Devonshire cream? Does it have something to do with clotted cream, because I don't know what that is either."
"Do I look like Wiki-cream-ia?. Buddy you talk. A LOT. Can't you see I'm busy here?"
"SShhhhh. I'll be as quiet as a Church mouse. A Westminster Abby Church Mouse. The church AFTER the wedding. Don't mind me, my little Tea Time G and T. You won't even notice I'm here. Like Will and Kate's bodyguards. I'll protect you from the dangers of the wilderness. Did I mention that I am Canadian?" The strong silent type. Except that I talk a lot."
"Perhaps I can defend you from a bear. Would that impress you, my little Double Decker Bus?" I have heard that you have a bus fetish. I'm all for public transportation. No car seats. Imagine that we encounter a rutting moose. Or buffalo. Even a cloud of rampant black flies. Fear not, my little Piccadilly Circus….. Oh my, there aren't any clowns out here are there? I don't mind wild beavers, but clowns scare the crap out of me."
"Yago, we are twenty metres from the highway. If I had a wild clown issue I'd hail a cab. I suspect the only danger here is having my ear talked off. Quit following me!
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