Friday, May 13, 2011

My Feature Article: Social Media: A Double-Edge Sword « Chronicles of a Not So Complicated Life

A friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend so in typical women's fashion we felt that it was important for us to analyse why the relationship went did not work out. Since she had just broken up with her boyfriend she had a lot to say. She spoke about his clinginess, anti-social behaviour and cheating ways and how he used to bombard her with texts, phone calls and e-mails. What stood out to me while she was venting about this failed relationship was when she said "dating someone with a blackberry was a gift and a curse. But for it was definitely a curse for their relationship". The  reason why this got my attention was the fact that in most cases you would think that having a blackberry would be a god send for your relationship since it allowed you to communicate with your significant other whenever you wanted too and you were saving a great deal of money. This then made think about that maybe technology's attempt to bring us closer together may have just have backfired . So are we now in an age where there is a communication overload.

There was once a time when communicate was either face to face, through the mail, and if your loved ones lived far away  you could texts if it did not cost too much and maybe do a weekly phone call,again if you had the money. In this fast-paced world we can communicate with each at no great expense. You can speak to your best friend in England at anytime and anywhere. Different time zones are not a problem because you can "inbox" or "direct message" someone on Facebook and they will can reply when they are either awake or not busy. Social media has taken the internet by storm and has become an as Simba said that social media has become "an intricate part of people's lifestyles in that people can communicate better with each other, friends and family. Everyone seems to have an outlet let or channel to express their views or feelings". Social Media became popular in early 21st century and Green Marketing websites defines it as "Social media is an umbrella term that describes the sharing and dissemination of various forms of media using social technologies." It is also seen as the essence of online networking. While researching this topic most of the people I interviewed said that when they think about the term social media "Twitter and Facebook and YouTube instantly pop in their mind". Mark zuckerberg's Facebook is what began the social media train then three years later Twitter began. Twitter and Facebook are the biggest websites on the internet. Facebook has over 500 million users and shocking yet surprising people spend over 700 billion minutes on Facebook. Whilst Twitter has 200 million active accounts since it began in 2006.

With the  recent introduction, while in South Africa and other developing countries, of smartphones and internet use of mobile phones. This has made communication easier and now there is no need for us to use a computer to type e-mails or even make a phone call to communicate or interact with someone. Socializing has become less static and can be done through any type of social networking medium at any time. In a country like South Africa where airtime is unreasonably expensive the likes of Mxit, BBM and WhatsApp are making communication easier especially with young people and more accessible.

In the global village that we live in social media is an amazing gift. It allows us to keep in contact with our high school friends who are now studying in Australia, America or Britain. For those who families are scattered all over the world Facebook ad Twitter gives them the opportunity to share what they did during the weekend or that day and exchange life precious moments through photos, videos and "inboxs" and "direct messages'. Social Media makes long distance friendships and relationships easier. That therefore makes it a gift.

Speaking of long distance relationships, a friend of mine recently started dating someone. Everything was great except the fact that she lived in Cape Town while he lives in Kwa-Zulu Natal. This means they will see each other four out of the twelve months. Back in the day and yes how cliché this would have been a huge problem. However, because of social media allows them to have a relationship where they do not as she said "have to snail mail each other". Basically they communicate mainly through Mxit and Facebook. In her opinion social media is a godsend because there is no way she could have coped with this long distance relationship without these various forms of social media. She goes further to say that "it is the only way that I can communicate with him". With social media she can get an idea of what he is up to through his Facebook wall. I Similarly, to everyone in a long distance relationship she would love to text or better yet phone but  Facebook and Mxit are  the most inexpensive way of communicating since as she put it "Airtime is expensive". Therefore in my friend's case it is a gift.

It is now important to return to my other friend who coined the term that social media in particular BBM as being a gift or curse for some relationships. Firstly, I think it is important to give some background of what type of person her ex-boyfriend was. He was extremely controlling, possessive and would stifle her by the bombardment of texts and phone calls.  She was the first to get a blackberry then convinced him to get one as well. This obviously made sense since they would save airtime and Blackberry services were more convenient. As for some couples that I have spoken to BBM services is a gift but with these two it was a terrible curse. This was because the nature of their relationship was extremely tumultuous that BBM and Facebook were used as a weapon for them to fight with. In any normal cases you either ran out of airtime or simply switched of the phone. Unfortunatly when people are in the heat of an argument they do anything to get their point across and with social media there are many different ways to fight with someone. The same friend said that at one time in their relationship they were having a fight and they both logged in Facebook and began shouting at each other via Facebook chat. The same friend with a different ex-boyfriend who she had a long distance relationship back in 2007 told me that social media has a way of causing friction in our relationships. This is because with the written communication things can be misinterpreted and taken out of context. Facebook and twitter may cause friction in particular because when walls we start to look at people twitter and Facebook analyse why that particular person wrote what they wrote and what does that mean to you.  In some cases everything written makes you question and wonder about your relationship. In my experience, some of the things my ex-boyfriend wrote on his wall made me uncomfortable and suspicious. My suspicions were correct but for those where there is no story it makes things awkward and shows that there is a lack of trust in the relationship. Therefore it is a curse.

Social media is here to stay and is an integral part of our social lives. In so cases it can do wonders for our relationships yet destroy it. I think the key to anything is to know how to use it and when to use because it us human who make social media a gift or a cure for our relationships.

~ by phumu23 on 05/13/2011. Posted in My Social Issues
Tags: BBM, blacberry, Facebook, long distance relationships, Mark Zuckerberg, Mxit, relationships, smartphones, social media, twitter, Youtube

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